A Sign of the Times
by And She Would Fall Xx
Summary: Sora didn't eat much nowadays. Well, to be fair, Sora didn't do much of anything nowadays. (In which Sora and Roxas share a heart, and therefore, share a love of a certain man who they believe to be gone.) Roxas/Axel(Lea), Sora/Axel(Lea), Sora/Riku


Sora didn't eat much nowadays.

Well, to be fair, Sora didn't do much of _anything_ nowadays. But for some reason, the not eating thing was what was bothering Riku the most. Sora used to eat just about everything, and he never refused a meal. But about a week after they all returned home to the islands, Sora had just… stopped. He stopped leaving his house, he stopped getting out of bed, he stopped trying to talk to his friends, and, as previously mentioned, he stopped eating.

Riku made an effort to reach out to Sora, really, he did! But how long was he supposed to talk to someone who had long since stopped responding? Sora was literally wasting away before his very eyes. Once tan skin was now pale, bright eyes dulled. Though he was always thin, Riku could now see bones where there were once lean muscles. For the first few weeks of his isolation, Riku and Kairi had sat dutifully at his bedside, waiting for the day Sora would snap out of it. In the beginning, his other friends from the island would come to visit. As time went by, their visits became less and less frequent. Apparently, most of them didn't enjoy having one-sided conversations while Sora stared distractedly out the window. It soon grew to be too difficult for even Kairi to stand, so one day she pressed a light kiss to Sora's cheek, squeezed his fragile hand, whispered "Come back to us soon, Sora," then she left and had not returned.

Riku had stayed with him a good deal longer. Even though he had long before stopped hoping Sora would answer, Riku continued to talk to him about whatever happened to be on his mind that day. It's not like he had anyone else to talk to. Sora's company was still better than no company at all.

And then, he decided on one particularly hard day, it wasn't.

* * *

As for Sora, he was grateful for his eventual solitude. He knew, in some distant corner of his heart, that his love for his friends had never faded. But right now, it was just too difficult to talk to them. Even trying to listen to them talk hurt his head, and made it much too hard to listen to the one voice that mattered above all else.

 _They're all gone, Sora._

"I know," Sora mumbled quietly in return, his gaze fixed, as always, on the distant line where the sky met the sea. Speaking felt strange now, his tongue heavy and voice rough from disuse.

The quiet voice in his mind seemed to sigh.  
 _  
I don't understand why you're doing this to yourself. You love him._ _  
_  
Flashes of bright red and green, of fire and passion and sea salt ice cream flicker in his mind's eye. Memories both familiar and foreign, his and not his all at once. He presses his palms to his eyes, recognizing and welcoming the familiar sting and warmth gathering there.

 _No,_ the voice hissed, _not him._ _ **Him.**_ **  
**  
Silver and teal this time, the ocean breeze and salt on his skin. A steady hand, an arrogant smirk.

Sora shook his head again, overwhelmed now by the images, as it happened so often. His tears were leaving their tracks down his cheeks, but Sora didn't care. Nobody was there to see them. _He_ wasn't there to see them, and he never would be again.

"This is all my fault," he insisted. "I was too weak. If I had been stronger, he would still be here." Sora rubbed angrily at his eyes. "We're never going to see him again, Rox, and it's all my fault."

An unimaginable sadness bloomed in his heart, darker than the darkest night, grabbing hold of him and swallowing him whole.

"I love him."

 _I love him._ _  
_  
They spoke at the same time, as they often did. They were two sides of a coin, cut from the same cloth, two halves of one whole. Sora loved Roxas, and Roxas loved Sora. All they wanted, more than anything, was to see the other be happy. Neither of them, however, could remember being less happy in their lives.

* * *

It had been three weeks, four days, and six hours since Riku last saw Sora. He missed his best friend so much that at times it was unbearable. Almost as unbearable, he supposed, as watching the brunet boy suffer without having the faintest idea as to why. The only clue he had was one sentence, muttered under Sora's breath when he thought nobody was listening.

'It's my fault,' he had said.

'What's your fault, Sora?' Riku had asked immediately, startled by the sudden admission.

Sora had turned to him slowly, dazed, as if he had completely forgotten about Riku's presence. He opened his mouth as if to answer, then promptly thought better of it. He shook his head and turned over in bed, staring once more through the window, out to the ocean.

That was the last time he had heard Sora's voice. It had been almost two months since that day.

Riku didn't know exactly what possessed him to return to his best friend's side after three long weeks apart. Perhaps it had been the grey skies that day, the promise of a storm to come. Maybe he was just lonely, since Kairi (sweet and lovely as she may be) could never quite fill the Sora-sized hole in his heart. Whatever the catalyst had been, it had led him to Sora's window that night, sneaking into his room as he had done so often when they were children.

It was one in the morning, and Sora was asleep.

These days, visiting with Sora when he was asleep wasn't altogether much different than visiting Sora when he was awake, so he settled himself into a comfortable position at the foot of his bed.

Riku wouldn't say he was 'watching Sora sleep' per se, he was just noticing the small changes that had come to pass during his absence. And if the other boy was sound asleep while he happened to be making these observations, well, that wasn't exactly his fault, was it?

Sora's cheekbones jutted out more than he remembered, his once full cheeks sunken and pale. His hair had lost its usual luster. Riku reached out, careful not to jostle him awake, and grabbed the hand the was laying unnervingly still on top of the covers. He ran his thumb across the thin wrist, imagining he could feel every bone and tendon as he did so. His thumb paused once he found the other's pulse, feather-light and fast.

Unusually fast.

Riku frowned. Was your pulse supposed to be so fast? Was that healthy?

It was then that he realized Sora was grimacing in his sleep, brow furrowed and jaw clenched. A light sheen of sweat covered his forehead. He was having a nightmare.

Riku debated briefly before bringing his other hand up to stroke Sora's hair, hoping to calm him down. Instead, the brunet jolted upright, eyes wide and arms stretched out in front of him, a name falling from his lips that Riku hadn't heard in almost a year.

" _Axel_!"

Sora's eyes darted around the room. He was breathing heavy, heart hammering in his ears.

 _It was just a dream,_ Roxas reminded him softly. _We were dreaming_. _He's not here._

And with that, Sora closed his eyes, scooted forward to rest his head on Riku's broad shoulder, and completely broke down.

* * *

Sora was sobbing, great heaving sobs that wracked his entire body. Riku had never seen Sora cry like this, even when they were children, so he did the only thing that he could think to do. He adjusted their positions so Sora was leaning on his chest, and he wrapped his arms the smaller boy (had Sora always been so _tiny_?), engulfing him in his embrace, making soothing noises and rocking lightly back and forth.

His mind was racing, questions buzzing through his mind like angry bees, persistent and demanding his attention. He bit down harshly on his lower lip, keeping himself from voicing them aloud while Sora was in such a state.

An indeterminate amount of time later, Sora's sobs had finally turned to quiet sniffles. Riku's shirt was thoroughly soaked and his arms were starting to cramp, but he stayed as he was, hugging Sora tight against his chest. He buried his nose once more in Sora's hair, nuzzling softly and placing a light kiss atop his head before pulling back ever-so-slightly, just enough that he could see Sora's face.

Face red and puffy, eyes swollen from crying, clear blue eyes bloodshot and downcast. He looked a mess, but Riku felt something akin to hope swell in his chest. This was, after all, the longest interaction the boys had shared in months.

"So…" he hedged, nervous to say the wrong thing. He decided vague and open-ended was his best bet. "Axel, huh?"

Sora pushed himself out of the other's grip, and Riku immediately mourned the loss. Sora crossed over to the window and pressed his hand against the glass. It was still far too dark to see, but Sora looked out as though he could gaze across the entire ocean. Blue eyes glassy and distant once more, he swallowed thickly and nodded.

"Axel."

 _I miss him I miss him I miss him-_

"I miss him."

Though Riku waited patiently, Sora did not elaborate.

And if, for the briefest of moments, Riku thought he had seen a flash of blonde hair instead of brown, well, he would just blame it on the poor lighting.

* * *

Riku left when the sun was just beginning to creep over the horizon. Sora had returned to bed by then, exhausted and silent once more.

The silver haired boy climbed out of the window, taking off immediately for his own house, rejuvenated by the feeling he had that he could now begin to help his best friend. His feet couldn't carry him home fast enough.

He had a letter to write.

* * *

It's another two weeks before the boys meet again.

Riku hardly feels the time passing, busy as he is with his planning and travelling. He doesn't understand, exactly, but he knows that Axel is the key to everything, and the King had offered a solution. He is all restless energy, hope and excitement (and perhaps a bit of confusion and disappointment, too, but he won't let himself think about that until Sora is well once more).

Sora, on the other hand, has felt as though every minute that past by was longer than the last. He has cocooned himself in a blanket of his own (and Roxas') misery. He eats only enough to stay alive, and he stares out to the ocean, and he remembers.

Sora is crying again when Riku arrives, but it's silent this time and he makes no effort to wipe the tears away when he sees Riku, almost as if he didn't know he had been crying at all. He spares only the briefest of glances for the other boy.

 _This isn't right,_ Roxas reminds him for perhaps the hundredth time. _Don't shut him out. You love him._

Sora gives a slight shake to his head. The words might have held true at one point, but no longer. He didn't dream of Riku anymore. He dreamt every single night of one man only. He dreamt of sitting up on the clock tower, laughing and smiling until the sun set, sharing ice cream and stories. He dreamt of an all-consuming fire, and a man fading as he held him in his arms.

He dreamt of Axel, and Axel alone.

That was who he loved.

A dead man, who he would never see again.

 _No, Sora, that was who_ _ **I**_ _loved. You're getting confused._

But Sora only shook his head again. "I'm not confused," he insisted.

* * *

"I never said you were."

Riku had startled Sora out of his thoughts, the other boy having clearly forgotten about his presence once more. He tried to not let it sting as he rushed forward and took hold of Sora's hands. "Come on, Sora, we've got to go."

The idea of leaving his room thoroughly repulsed him and he shook his head vehemently. "I can't."

"Trust me, Sora," Riku continued, succeeding only in getting his friend to sit perched on the side of his bed. "You're going to want to come with me… And… You're maybe going to want to shower," he joked with a tiny chuckle.

Sora hesitated, off-kilter because of the knowing gleam in Riku's eyes. "Where are we going?"

Riku's grin could have lit up the darkness in his heart, at one point, but no longer.

"Just down to the beach. I want you to meet a man called Lea."

* * *

Riku was all but skipping down to the beach. He was trying to be patient, reminding himself that this was the first time Sora had walked so far in months, but it was becoming more and more difficult as their destination came closer. He really didn't know what would happen when the two men would meet, but honestly, it couldn't be worse for Sora than what he had been doing to himself.

And if it stung that the only person who could help Sora was someone other than him, well, he was just going to ignore that for now.

Sora couldn't remember it ever being so _bright_ outside. So bright his eyes were stinging and watering. People went outside in the _everyday_? All he wanted was to go back into his room and crawl back under the covers, but Riku, still tugging insistently at his hand, seemed to have other plans.

Suddenly, a figure came into view. Still distant and a little blurry, but unmistakably tall and lean with bright red hair.

Sora stopped in his tracks, heart jumping to his throat.

 _Is that…_

"Is that..?"

Riku smiled at him encouragingly. And that was all it took.

Sora ran.

He ran, lungs burning and leg muscles screaming for him to stop (though, to be fair, he hadn't been doing much walking lately, let alone running), but he continued until he was mere feet away from the strange man.

The man's back was to him, but Sora's mouth dried up because even without seeing his face, he _knew_ who that was. He had seen him every night in his dreams. The hair, the curve of his shoulders, the long, lean figure…

"Axel," he breathed. Or was it Roxas who said it?

Either way, the man turned, and all Sora could see was green, green, green.

* * *

Lea felt a bit awkward standing there on that beach.

When Riku had shown up to retrieve him from Yen Sid's tower, his first instinct was to refuse, but the boy had just looked so _desperate._ He had told him Sora wasn't well, and that Lea was somehow the only person who might be able to help. And if Sora wasn't well, then that meant Roxas wasn't well. And in the end, he had found himself unable to stomach the thought.

So, there he was, on the very same beach where another form of himself had once all but kidnapped Kairi, and now he was tasked with saving the golden boy from himself.

Somehow, this was his life.

Lea was slightly shocked to see that Sora really did look as bad as Riku had told him. He appeared frail and sickly, not at all like the boy who he had met so long ago. And right now, he noted, he looked very much like a deer in headlights. His familiar blue eyes, though bloodshot and slightly swollen, were wide and fixed on him. His jaw hung slack, fists clenched so tightly at his sides his knuckles were white.

Lea scratched the back of his head and cleared his throat, beginning to feel uncomfortable in the silence. "It's Lea now, actually."

And with those words, it was like a spell had been broken. Sora's face crumpled and he stumbled forward, arms outstretched, until he was gripping the front of Lea's jacket. He was crying now in earnest, forehead pressed to Lea's chest. "You're back," he cried, hardly distinguishable through his sobs.

The redhead looked in alarm to Riku, who seemed to be looking anywhere but at them. Realizing he wouldn't be getting any support from the other boy, he placed his hands gently on Sora's back and began to rub soothing circles.

"Hey, it's okay, kid. Calm down. Look," Lea pulled him back, hands on his shoulders, and leaned down so they were at the same height. "I'm here. I'm fine."

Sora stared at him, as if he was in a daze. He reached out to touch the spot under his eyes, the spot where he once had triangular tattoos. "We thought you were gone," he said softly, tears still silently flowing.

 _We?_ Lea thought, but dared not voice.

"Can't get rid of me that easily," he joked instead. Easier to joke than to give substance to the small kernel of hope taking root in his chest. He tried once more to make eye contact with Riku, but he had now shoved his hands in his pocket and was kicking at the sand, staring down at it resolutely.

"You told me you would always be there to bring me back."

His gaze snapped back to the boy in front of him, and suddenly, he was not looking at Sora at all.

He was looking at _Roxas._

Heart hammering in his ears (and _man,_ would he ever get used to that feeling?), Lea exhaled a shaky breath. "Well, I'm here now, aren't I?"

"Yeah," Roxas nodded, a small smile gracing his features. Lea blinked, and Sora was back, goofy grin plastered on his face. "Took you long enough!"

Sora grabbed hold of his face, and, before Lea had a moment to think, there was a warm pressure at his lips, and a bright light consuming everything.

* * *

Sora opened his eyes.

Riku was leaning over him, worry etched into his every feature. His lips were moving, but Sora couldn't quite make out what he was saying.

What had happened?

The last thing he remembered was… leaning in to kiss Axel. And now…

He sat up, head pounding, and yet, strangely silent. He felt strange. Sort of… empty?

"Roxas?" he whispered.

Nobody answered.

"Roxas," he repeated, firmer now, fighting back at panic.

Silence.

What had he done? Where was Roxas?

Sora was on his hands and knees now, searching desperately in his mind. "Roxas!" he was pretty sure he was yelling now, a lump forming uncomfortably in his throat.

Riku grabbed his face between his hands. " _Sora_!" he shouted, shaking him slightly. For the first time, Sora fixed his wide-eyed gaze on him. "Roxas is okay," he said, "He's here."

Sora's brow furrowed in confusion. Here?

He opened his mouth to question Riku further, but never got the chance to, as he was tackled backwards onto the beach, arms wrapped firmly around his neck. His arms came up in his alarm to shield his face, but once he was re-oriented to his surroundings, he realized quickly who his assailant was.

Blonde, spiky hair, cerulean eyes so similar to his own, mouth set in a grin so wide it looked almost painful.

 _Roxas._

* * *

Roxas didn't know how it had happened. One moment, he was safely in the confines of Sora's heart, crying out in joy that his best friend was alive and with him (well, sort of) once more. The next, he had awoken on the beach with a set of green eyes staring down at him in what could only be interpreted as amazement.

"I missed you."

Those were his first words, the first thought that had come to him. Speaking aloud and having the people around him hear his words was a foreign feeling. Sora had been his only companion for so long, he had almost forgotten how to communicate with others.

Axel didn't seem to mind. He helped the blonde to his feet and wrapped him up in a bone-crushing hug. "I missed you, too, you sap," he replied, warm breath grazing Roxas' ear and making him shiver. His voice was suspiciously unsteady.

They stayed that way for several moments longer (and maybe, Roxas thought, they could have stayed that way forever) until someone shouted his name and he pulled away from the embrace. He would know that voice anywhere.

Sora.

He looked over and found the brunet kneeling some distance away on the sand. Riku was in front of him, trying to calm him down from the minor meltdown he appeared to be having. Roxas grinned and took off at a sprint, hardly slowing before he hurled himself onto his other.

He looked up and saw Sora's eyes widen slightly in recognition before he felt arms snaking around his waist and holding him firmly in place.

Sora was his absolute best friend in the world, the half that made him whole, and, when he really stopped to think about it, the very reason for Roxas' own existence. To others, it might have seemed strange, but things change when you've lived inside of someone's heart. He doubted he would ever feel a bond quite like this one with anyone else.

The two boys were separate now, but they knew without discussion that they would always be one.

* * *

It was two days later when they all met up on the play island. Roxas and Sora had been each other's constant companions, and Lea had been staying with Riku. They had all agreed that they needed to spend some time apart to process what had happened, but Roxas and Sora had quickly found themselves unable to tolerate spending more than an hour in separate rooms of the same house, let alone in seperate locations entirely. So the two boys spent countless hours in those two days speaking of life, adventure, their goals and aspirations, and even of love. And when the time came to rejoin the outside world and see Riku and Lea once more, they found that they both felt ready.

Sora wasted no time, upon their meeting, before grabbing Lea by the hand and leading him away to a more private area further down the beach. Roxas had, of course, known that this was the plan, but Riku looked so put out he began to feel sorry for him.

"Come on," he said, gesturing toward the paopu tree where Sora, Riku, and Kairi had once spent so many days talking about other worlds. Riku glanced back once more towards Sora and Lea's retreating forms (specifically, how close their hands seemed to be to touching) before nodding and following along.

Once there, neither quite knew what to say, so they opted instead to stare out at the setting sun. It was a gorgeous island, Roxas acknowledged, and Sora's memories didn't do it justice. He glanced over at Riku, who was _still_ staring at the point on the beach where Sora and Lea had gone off to. Man, this guy had it bad.

"Sora loves you, you know." He had to say it. It would have been cruel not to, really.

Riku turned to him, looking like a kicked puppy, all big sad eyes and a frown. "Doesn't seem that way to me," he replied glumly.

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure, okay, _don't_ believe the guy who was literally _living in his heart_ all this time."

Teal eyes flitted uncertainly between Roxas and the beach. "But Lea-"

"Lea is _mine,"_ Roxas said more heat in his tone than he intended. He was so forceful he had actually startled himself. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly and continued, "What I mean is.. uh.. well."

"You love him." Riku saved him from his bumbling explanation and Roxas nodded, relieved.

"Yeah, I love him." Roxas hesitated, thinking more carefully before speaking this time (lest he have another embarrassing outburst). "Me and Sora are the same. We shared one body and one heart for a long time. We even shared memories. It was… confusing at times, and overwhelming." Riku nodded his encouragement when Roxas paused again, silently urging him to continue. "If he thought he loved Axel… it's because of how strongly I feel about him. But trust me…"

Roxas waited until Riku's eyes were fixed on his before continuing on, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"If Lea is mine, you are Sora's."

* * *

Somewhere further down the beach, a brunet and a redhead walked on the sand and talked as though they had always been the best of friends. Sora questioned Lea eagerly about how and when he had woken up as a whole person again, and how he had come to wind up at the tower with Yen Sid. Lea complied with every question, smiling fondly and throwing his arm over the smaller boy's shoulders as they walk.

"You seem happy," Sora commented, a matching smile on his own face.

Lea shrugged. "What's not to be happy about? Roxas is back, and I'm whole again. Life is good for now."

"Yeah," Sora agreed halfheartedly, staring down at the sand.

Lea reached up and rapped his knuckles once against the back of Sora's head, smiling at the weak glare Sora sent his way. "What's got you down?"

The brunet sighed. "I don't know, really. It's weird. I love Roxas, and he deserves to be his own person more than anyone, but now that we're separate I feel kind of… alone, ya know?" After a moment went by with no response, he forced an uncomfortable laugh and continued, "I guess I just got used to him being with me all the time. It's stupid, I'll get over it."

"Hey, it's not stupid." Lea grabbed Sora's hand and made him stop walking. The feel of those long fingers wrapped around his own made a blush spread across his cheeks, visions from his dreams coming back to him in full force. Without Roxas' presence, the dreams felt hollow now, not so urgent or meaningful anymore, but the memories lingered. "But you guys will never be apart. Friends never really are, are they?" Lea reached out and touched two fingers to Sora's chest, right over his heart.

Sora beamed up at him. "You're right. And now you'll always be with me too, right Lea?"

Lea smiled.

"Right."

* * *

By the time the two had returned from their walk, night had nearly fallen. None of them seemed to be in any rush to go home, so Sora jumped up on the tree next to Riku and Lea found a comfortable spot leaning against the base of the tree with Roxas.

Darkness was beginning to envelop the island, but the four were not afraid.

Soon, Lea and Roxas would have to talk about what their future would hold, and how they should never be separated again. Soon, Sora would have to apologize to Riku for his behavior for the past few months, and promise to never shut him out again. And soon, Sora would have to confront his own confusing and misguided feelings for Lea. Soon, but not quite yet.

For now, Sora slipped his hand into Riku's, twining their fingers together as he leaned his head against the other's broad shoulder. For now, Lea wrapped an arm around Roxas, pulling the other towards him and burying his nose in blonde hair.

The future remained vast and unknowable, but for now, all was well.


End file.
